How the Dark Night of The Soul Assists in Cycle Breaking
Updated January 2023: I’m so glad you’re here and taking steps towards healing. I do have a series of articles on reparenting but want to be upfront that I’m in a place in my healing journey where I’ve moved away from talking about narcissistic traits in others and I’m currently focusing solely on my expansion and what brings me joy. I’ve moved away from the textbooks and have jumped headfirst back into shadow work art (my original healing medium) mixed with a newfound interest in mushrooms. If the thought of using art and mushrooms to find peace outside of your family’s dysfunctions excites you then definitely do poke around. Sending you luck on your journey, friend.
The importance of the Dark Night of the Soul should not be overlooked as an essential tool for cycle breaking.
Now, I’m going out on a limb and assuming that if you’re on this page you because you already know what a dark night of the soul is - you may even be experiencing one right now.
Although the dark night of the soul is extremely complex, an easy way to understand it is as if there was a reset button on how you see life. That button gets pushed, and you can't go back. You need to start again.
Think of all the values, ideas, concepts, goals, and desires you had in life. They made sense before, based on everything you had learned. But after the button is pushed, you enter the dark night of the soul, and you need to figure it all out again.
What does the dark night of the soul feel like?
The dark night of the soul is a unique time in life where we deepen our connection to our inner selves. During your dark night, you'll start to question everything. And your questions will be the big ones: Who am I? What is my meaning? What does it mean to be human? Why am I here?
Most people experience the dark night of the soul, but they might not call it by that name. Existential dread, mid-life crisis, ego death—whatever you call it, it's usually not described as good or pleasant.
But it is an enormous catalyst for growth.
Experiencing the dark night of the soul feels like desolation—complete emptiness, disconnection, and hopelessness.
Emerging from the dark night of the soul.
As we walk through the dark night of the soul towards our spiritual awakening, we realize that many things from our old way of life are not in line with our ideas of meaning, truth, and life.
To reconnect to the world, we must clean out these parts of our lives, cut away the dead or rotting pieces, and shed that which no longer serves us on our journey.
If you've gone no contact with a toxic family member, this might sound familiar. But the dark night of the soul is about letting go of more than just people.
You might find that you need to reimagine, redefine, or say goodbye to certain values, beliefs, desires, thought patterns, behaviors, and more. Your spiritual awakening will encompass a nearly endless journey of self-exploration where you examine how you think and behave—and how you want to change.
The dark night of the soul and cycle breaking.
Journeying through the dark night of the soul and breaking toxic cycles are not two separate missions.
Exploring your meaning and truth, discovering your hope and faith, and redefining your values and mission in life will all assist you as you continue to grow and learn as a parent.
A major part of cycle breaking is learning how to heal your open wounds from your childhood. Leaning into the dark night of the soul can help you do just that. Like everything we do that matters, it will not be easy. But you are powerful, capable, and resilient.