The Cycle Breakers Creed: A Commitment to Endings
Updated January 2023: I’m so glad you’re here and taking steps towards healing. I do have a series of articles on reparenting but want to be upfront that I’m in a place in my healing journey where I’ve moved away from talking about narcissistic traits in others and I’m currently focusing solely on expansion and what brings me joy. I’ve moved away from the textbooks and have jumped headfirst back into shadow work art (my original healing medium) mixed with a newfound interest in mushrooms. If the thought of using art and mushrooms to find peace outside of your family’s dysfunctions excites you then definitely do poke around. Sending you luck on your journey, friend.
Every cycle breaker starts out as a traumatized kid—but as we grow into adulthood, we become cycle breakers when we commit the cycle breakers creed.
If you’re here, maybe you’ve already made this commitment (even if you don’t realize it).
Cycle breakers’ affirmations.
Whether you’ve already committed to breaking the cycle or want to, these affirmations can help you live your life with intention. Being mindful of the cycle breakers creed can help you on your journey away from toxicity and towards healthy relationships.
“This ends with me.”
This affirmation is the first and foremost in the cycle breakers creed. Cycle breakers often have the urge to behave like the people who raised them, and a commitment to ending the toxic cycle can motivate you to stop, rethink, and change direction.
“I choose love and kindness.”
Abusive households often lack healthy love and kindness. Instead, put love and kindness first to support others.
“I control my life and my reality.”
The only person who can truly control your emotions, behavior, and outlook on life is you. Take responsibility for how to see the world and operate in it.
“As a parent, I am a guide, a teacher, and a caregiver.”
Envisioning how you would want other leaders to care for your kids can help you decide how to move forward as a parent.
“I allow room for mistakes—and for learning.”
Perfect is an impossible idea. You can reflect on how you wish you would have handled something differently without drowning in guilt. Mistakes help us learn, so make room for them in your life and your kids’ lives.
Cycle breakers’ homework.
Carrying these affirmations with you through life will help guide you in the tough moments. But you’ll also need to hold on to your motivation if you want to keep going.
So, I highly recommend trying this take-home activity.
Spend ten minutes writing out why you are committed to breaking your family cycle. Is it for you and your mental health? Are you doing it for your kids and their futures? Or, it because you want to better your relationship with a partner or friend?
Explain your motivation and what freedom from the toxic cycle can mean for you and those in your life.
When you’re done, place the piece of paper with your answers somewhere you can refer to daily for inspiration—like a bedside table or bathroom mirror.