When Is the Right Time to Go No Contact with My Family?
Updated January 2023: I’m so glad you’re here and taking steps towards healing. I do have a series of articles on reparenting but want to be upfront that I’m in a place in my healing journey where I’ve moved away from talking about narcissistic traits in others and I’m currently focusing solely on my expansion and what brings me joy. I’ve moved away from the textbooks and have jumped headfirst back into shadow work art (my original healing medium) mixed with a newfound interest in mushrooms. If the thought of using art and mushrooms to find peace outside of your family’s dysfunctions excites you then definitely do poke around. Sending you luck on your journey, friend.
There are lots of different reasons why someone may need to go no contact with their family. Usually, there’s an underlying toxic environment plagued with emotional, mental, physical, or financial abuse.
But, if that toxicity is normal to you, deciding whether the abuse is enough to go no contact can be difficult.
Why Would Someone Need to Go No Contact with Family?
Common signs that no contact would be better for your health include gaslighting, addiction, and threats of violence. If you’re unsure whether your family is toxic enough to warrant a no contact policy, check out “12 Signs It's Time to Break Your Dysfunctional Family Cycle.” If the things on that list are common in your life, no contact shouldn’t be off the table.
When is the Best Time to Go No Contact?
There is no “right time” to go no contact. Manipulative family members will always find ways to snake your back in, whether it be a guilt trip, illness, funeral, wedding, birthday, or something else entirely.
Getting roped back in or trapped in a toxic cycle is detrimental to your overall well being. And waiting for the right time usually means tolerating abuse long after you know it needs to stop. So, if you ask me, the best time to go no contact is right now.
Most people who cut ties with a family member experience a positive effect on their lives, so it’s likely that you will, too.
Going No Contact is Sometimes the Best Option
A no contact policy may seem like a last resort or an extreme, but for many people in difficult familial situations, it’s the best option. Healing from trauma is a challenge, and when you’re still experiencing the abuse and hurt you need to heal from, it makes the task much harder.
No contact doesn’t mean you hate your family members or don’t appreciate the positive impacts they’ve had on your life. It means you’re taking steps to enforce boundaries that support your growth.