7 Wellness Permission Slips You Need This Holiday Season

Note: This article first appeared in the December 2020 issue of Modern Housewives Magazine.

Healing requires letting go, but why is it so difficult? 

You’re not alone if 2020 has been the hardest thing that you’ve ever lived through. I personally, have never been worked so hard mentally, emotionally, or spiritually in my life. And, it’s more than #momguilt.

Between raising a kid (just the next generation of the planet… no pressure). Mompreneur life. Housework. Healing through a pandemic. Striving to keep the family living “normal”. And putting on a brave face while dealing with uncertainty.

It’s easy to see why moms are a little on edge right now. 

And, I hate to be bitchy, but it does feel like 2020 has been going by in dog years.

This holiday season I’m gifting myself these seven permission slips for increased peace of mind.

Which ones do you need?

1. Let go of the notion that your kids need a tree stuffed with gifts. 

This holiday season, chill with the externalizing and instead learn to fill the void.

Stop this merit-based nonsense. 

Now more than ever the gift of health, home, and togetherness should be more than enough. The last thing our kids need is another gadget. 

This holiday season lets get back to the real meaning and message behind the festivities.

Take action: Consider trying out the “Four Gift Rule” this December. Each family member can get four gifts only, which is still a huge blessing to many. The items include one thing they want, one thing they need, one thing to wear and one thing to read. 

Limiting gifts actually helps to make each item more special. Before you roll your eyes at me, remember that Montessori suggests that kids benefit from having fewer toys. Less toys promotes the use of imagination and can improve focus. 

2. Stop trying to live up to outdated and uncomfortable traditions. 

This is the year to staahhhp all this. Even though we are in the last quarter of 2020 we can still make big, drastic, and needed changes before the year is out, just look at The White House.

The year 2020 is the year to start your own legacy. What habits are you doubling down on and which ones have got to go!? 

The best part about setting your own traditions is that there is no one to compare yourself to. It doesn’t matter what any celeb or influencer does, you are the only one who gets to do this.

Take action: SAY NO to every social function you normally feel obligated to attend. Yes, socialization and community is important but don’t be bullied into attending anything because of tradition. Use this time to analyze what situations and traditions bring you joy and which ones bring you grief. 

If you want, make this event a “family meeting” so that your kids and partner can chime in on their desires, too.

3. One thing it’s really time to let go of is toxic relationships. 

I’ll keep this one short and sweet. If the year 2020 has taught me anything, it’s that no one is safe. You can be here today and gone tomorrow. Your time is precious, so it’s time to start honoring it. 

Take action: You don’t have to ghost anyone but please do not go into the New Year carrying around dead weight in any of your relationships - whether personal or business.

If you find yourself repeatedly going back to relationships that do not edify you, it’s time to do some soul searching to see what is keeping you there? Is it codependency, loneliness, or the d*ck? 

No judgement. But know that you deserve better, boo.

4. It’s understandable that you feel that 2020 has been a dud year.

What did you lose this year? A job? A relative? Hope?

If you’re someone who has had 2020 pull the rug from under them, I can relate, and want to acknowledge that any and all your feelings are valid.

I can’t take away the feelings of sadness, grief, or resentment that you may have regarding this year. And I don’t want to, but I will point out a silver lining. When we take L’s we are closer to our roots. The fluff gets weeded out and our core values become easier to spot.

Take action: Get excited about your future. Write a list of three goals that you have for 2021. For balance pick one goal for career, one for a relationship of your choosing (partner, parent, or child), and one goal pertaining to your health and wellness.

5. It’s okay that you gained a few extra pounds during 2020. 

Stress eating is a real thing - that in addition to being cooped up inside all summer and it’s not surprising that it was tough to stick to your diet.

Don’t feel that you have to be so strict on yourself this holiday season if you need to reach for the comforts foods. But, do munch in moderation. And look for healthier alternatives, where possible. 

Take action: Hit the ground running now with S. M. A. R. T. Goals recommends Christina Lumpkin, moms perinatal coach. And always remember to listen to your body. Love it up for carrying you through this life journey. 

Today you are the youngest you will ever be, but you can get healthier, wealthier, and wiser as you age. The time to start taking care of yourself is now. Because you're worth it.

Ok… Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

6. You have total permission to let your feelings out, sis.

Is this the permission slip you needed, sis? 

Too many of us have been holding our emotions in for way too long. It may be uncomfortable to let it out but keeping your feelings pent up inside of you is detrimental to your and your child’s well-being.

Give yourself the grace to start figuring yourself out before the year is out. There is honestly nothing more beautiful than a clear conscience and honest conversation. It’s the best gift you can give yourself this holiday season.

Take action: Before the year is out, try one of the following ways to release pent up feelings. 

1. A 15-minute uninterrupted journaling session

2. A quick workout (yes, something from YouTube is a-ok!)

3. If needed, the occasional ugly-faced cry.

7. You have permission to never again need permission!

Thank you for letting me chat with you. But do yourself a favor and never wait on permission again!

Listen, covid, zombie apocalypse, it doesn’t matter. Do not put your one and only life on hold while you seek the permission of another person. It may be controversial, but I follow the adage, it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission. 

We’ve all been tested and learned valuable lessons this year. One lesson in particular is how strong each and every one of us is. 

You did that darn thing this year. I’m excited to see what 2021 holds for you, momma.

Now, take action!