4 Ways to Reregulate After A Hard Day of Cycle Breaking

Updated January 2023: I’m so glad you’re here and taking steps towards healing. I do have a series of articles on reparenting but want to be upfront that I’m in a place in my healing journey where I’ve moved away from talking about narcissistic traits in others and I’m currently focusing solely on my expansion and what brings me joy. I’ve moved away from the textbooks and have jumped headfirst back into shadow work art (my original healing medium) mixed with a newfound interest in mushrooms. If the thought of using art and mushrooms to find peace outside of your family’s dysfunctions excites you then definitely do poke around. Sending you luck on your journey, friend.

Breaking the cycle of a toxic family takes hard work. After a day of expending all your patience, kindness, empathy, and emotional strength, parents need some way to reregulate. Luckily, we’ve got 5 options here for you.

Now, not every one of these strategies for regulation after cycle breaking will work for you. But it’s worth trying each one to see how it makes your body and mind feel.

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 1. Shake it Out

This might seem silly—because it is. But shaking can help your body return to a state of balance after a stressful day. Animals actually have a natural shake response after their fight or flight mode has been activated to return their nervous system to a calmer state.

To practice this shake it out method, start by being aware and curious of how your body feels. Then, move your arms or legs. Do weird crazy movements. Dance a little. Just vibe. And most importantly, pay attention to what’s going on in your body.

You can shake for just 10 seconds or as long as 2 minutes.

2. Co-Regulation

Co-regulation is one of my favorite methods. However, you can’t always do this one because it requires a partner. Essentially, all you need to do is sit with someone and look into each other’s eyes for 5-10 minutes. Focus on your breathing, don’t talk, and stay focused.

3. Meditation

When you’re experiencing a stressful moment of parenting, it can help to take a breath. And when you finally get some alone time, it can help to take lots of breaths.

Self-guided meditation can be extremely difficult if you’re not experienced, so I highly recommend using guided meditations. Try searching “guided meditation” on Spotify until you find something you like, or try Headspace’s Netflix series.

4. Shift Your Focus

Getting in the zone doing one of your favorite activities can calm your nervous system down. I’ve noticed that some of these activities work better than others, depending on the specific state I’m in that day. It’s okay if one method works one day but not another. Just try something else.

Here are some calming activities you can try:

  • take a bath

  • read a book

  • do a puzzle

  • write in your journal

  • sing in the shower

  • dance to some music

Kya Nguyen